Sneaking Into the Liquor Store

May 7, 2021 0 Comments

No. I did not fall off the wagon.

It’s those darn herb videos I’ve been binge-watching for the last few weeks. I’m obsessed! I’m growing herbs that I can’t even pronounce much less find a space for in my garden.

Of course, I blame it on the long Winter and having too much time on my increasingly chubby hands. This is what happens when you get too old and wobbly to work a real job. But why do all retired people garden? If someone knows the definitive answer please pass it along to me. I feel like a gray-bearded cliche.

Sorry-back to herbs

I found out that I could make my own vanilla extract at home. That stuff in the supermarket that comes in those little 2 ounce bottles for almost five bucks is a total ripoff! I discovered that I could make vanilla extract for right around $1.07 per ounce. The highest cost was the Madagascar Vanilla Beans (5 for around 20 bucks). Those beans will need to soak in 100 proof vodka for about 3-4 months to have all of its delicious essence extracted.

So I had to sneak into the closest liquor store and find the cheapest bottle of vodka I could find.

“Oldfart,” you ask, “you’re over 21 so why did you have to ‘sneak’ into a liquor store? Well, because it would go over like a fart on a crowded elevator if someone at church drove by and saw me walking in to a liquor store, that’s why!

So I slithered in the back parking lot entrance with my ballcap pulled down to shade my eyes. I immediately started to get flash-backs from my younger days as a heathen which made me feel very self-conscious.

Adding to my discomfort was that I had forgot to bring my eye glasses along for the adventure so my face was approximately three inches from the liquor bottles trying to read the labels.

Finally I found what seemed to be the cheapest brand of vodka and bought a quart.¬† And even though what I was doing was perfectly legal for an adult to do and not in anyway immoral, I couldn’t help but feel like I was being…bad. I don’t know, it was just strange.

So my imagination has been captured by the medicinal claims of herbalist going back to ancient times. And the more I find out the more I want to know. But there is one thing I have concluded since starting down this road:

This I know

God created everything Mankind would ever need for their health and well-being when He created the Earth.

Plants, especially herbs, have been used for millennia to treat and cure everything from the common cold to cancer. But somewhere in the modern era we lost touch with Creation…and the Creator. We got too big for our britches and decided that we knew better than God, whom we can not see face to face…yet. But Holy Writ tells us that there will be no excuses when that day comes for each of us and we stand before Him to give an account.

“For the unseen things of Him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being realized by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, for them to be without excuse.” (Romans 1:20 MKJV)

Take the herb Rosemary (Salvia rosmarinus), for instance. This herb has been studied more than most in clinical trials and there is documented evidence that, taken in therapeutic doses, Rosemary can improve brain function, memory, and even prevent dementia. It is also useful as a sedative for relieving stress and insomnia.

The list of medicinal herbs is a mile long and their very existence is just another fact that points to an intelligent design and an all-powerful Creator.

Send Me Your Tired Masses of Weeds

No, don’t do that as I am just trying to make a point.

Y’all need to stop spraying chemicals on your lawn to kill the dandelions and start to consuming them in some way, shape, or form.

I like to pick the flower heads and drink the infusion as a tea. It treats my cold and sinus issues nicely and its diuretic effect efficiently flushes waste from your body¬† (which is important to we old farts). I love it with a squirt of Stevia (a sweet herb) and I’ve even gotten my wife to drink it…and she hates everything healthy.

Parsley, Sage, Rosemary, and Thyme. Paul Simon was onto something bigger than himself when he wrote that song!